"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
-Phyllis Diller
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"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.“
-Phyllis Diller
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"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
-Phyllis Diller
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"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."
-Phyllis Diller
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"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
-Phyllis Diller
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"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."
-Phyllis Diller
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"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
-Phyllis Diller
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Same Category
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"Our government is the potent, the omnipresent teacher. For good or ill it teaches the whole people by its example."
-Timothy McVeigh
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"If you don't have a teacher you can't have a disciple."
-Dallas Willard
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"If we can teach a teacher we can reach more people."
-Richard Stengel
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"Everyone will tell you how rigid I am, but a teacher has to be flexible. You can't cut the student to your cloth you have to cut yourself to theirs."
-Jeanine Basinger
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"I was in three academic clubs, a huge book worm and the teacher's pet. I was kind of an easy target for bullies."
-Nicole Anderson
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"I went to school at this log school house. A white woman was my teacher, I do not remember her name. My father had to pay her one dollar a month for me. Us kids that went to school did not have desks, we used slates and set on the hued down logs for seats."
-Joe Davis
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