"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
-Phyllis Diller
migrate2View Quote
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.“
-Phyllis Diller
posted in money
Other Quotes
Discover more inspiring quotes from our collection
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
-Phyllis Diller
christmasView Quote
"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."
-Phyllis Diller
workView Quote
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
-Phyllis Diller
womenView Quote
"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."
-Phyllis Diller
weddingView Quote
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
-Phyllis Diller
timeView Quote
Same Category
More quotes in this category
"People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'"
-Adam Carolla
moneyView Quote
"The fellow that has no money is poor. The fellow that has nothing but money is poorer still."
-Billy Sunday
moneyView Quote
"Kids are meant to believe that their stepping stone to massive money is 'The X Factor.' Luck is great, but most of life is hard work. We do not celebrate people who have made success out of serious hard work."
-Iain Duncan Smith
moneyView Quote
"Because I don't take money, I'll go anywhere and do a benefit concert with almost any orchestra."
-David Ogden Stiers
moneyView Quote
"Nothing except the mint can make money without advertising."
-Thomas B. Macaulay
moneyView Quote
"Thankfully, due to the United Kingdom and the commitment of the Westminster government we are able to ensure that money brought in, whether it be from the City of London or from North Sea oil, can be pooled and directed to wherever it is needed most. That is what being in the United Kingdom is all about."
-Iain Duncan Smith
moneyView Quote